Give someone a good listening to...
Spring is the season of new beginnings, openings and awakenings, of green shoots and bursts of colour.
New beginnings have been front of mind for me over the last month as I’ve been talking with some awesome companies about how we ‘build forward’ from here, rather than going back to working practices and structures which, at very least, are long overdue a good old spring clean.
Instead of doing all the talking, I’ve been focusing on creating spaces for people to think, and for managers or organisations to really listen before they made any firm decisions about the next bit. To park their desire to be the expert with all the answers - the one with the plan - and lean into the opportunity to co-create a workplace which is more inclusive, more balanced, and more in tune with the sense that work is “the place where you develop a sense of identity, the place that will help you become the better version of yourself, the place that gives you purpose and meaning”, rather than just a place you go for 10 hrs a day to provide the means to pay the bills.
I’ve been inspired in this approach by Nancy Kline’s work and her amazing book Time to Think, which I rediscovered recently and which felt like the perfect foundation on which to build our collective reopening. It’s given me so many a-ha moments I wonder how I let it pass me by on first read.
So my recommendations for this month are all about thinking and listening - to ourselves and to others, and creating space to think before we take action.
As always, I would love to hear from you. When was the last time you gave someone a good listening to? Or when was the last time you felt truly heard? How have you made time to think in your so-called career?
You can reach me through the site - I love email and always do my best to reply promptly - on the socials @socalledcareer, or why not join a Careers Cuppa - a space to listen, learn, talk and share all things career related on a Friday lunchtime.
This month’s recommendations!
Reading 📚:
Time to Think, by Nancy Kline.
You’re Not Listening, by Kate Murphy.
Listening 🎧:
A playlist of Ted Talks on listening
Tip/Tool/Technique ✍:
Create a Thinking Environment with your team, a colleague or a friend and give someone the gift of ‘a good listening to’.
By giving someone else’s thoughts your full and undivided attention, you provide the space for them to talk at will about their stuff without fear of interruption or interpretation. Start by asking, what would you like to think about, and what are your thoughts? Then resist all urge to interject.
Once they think they are all thought out, ask what more they want to say. You’ll be surprised what else might come to their mind.
When they are ready, asking incisive questions helps identify limiting assumptions that might be holding them back.
Asking them to imagine the positive opposite to their assumptions allows them to see possibility and inspire new thinking to move forward.
Clarifying an intention creates a next step for them.
End the session by each sharing something you respect about the other person.
About the author
Penelope Jones is the founder of My So-Called Career. She is a career coach and consultant who specialises in helping women in their 30s beat burnout and develop healthy, sustainable relationships with work.
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