Careers Cuppa: Uncertainty
“Anxiety often accompanies new beginnings. It’s a form of energy that forces us to adjust, informing us that we have to shift our role, behaviour or view.
We need to shed the old way of being, like reptiles shed their skin, for a new way of being to grow.
”
On Friday 6th November 2020, we welcomed back the Careers Cuppa in style, and our focus on uncertainty felt about as relevant as you could get in a week where the UK went into a second lockdown, and the US election had many of us on a knife-edge.
“Nothing in the world causes so much misery as uncertainty”
That we will all experience uncertainty at points in our lives is probably one of the few great certainties, but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant in the moment. To a greater or lesser extent, we crave stability, and a sense of control over our lives and for far too many of us Covid-19 has thrown the emotional equivalent of a massive spanner in the works with uncertainty coming at us from all angles, whether its employment, the economy, our personal finances, or the health and wellbeing of ourselves, those close to us, or the wider population.
Prolonged uncertainty can be emotionally draining and lead to us feeling trapped and powerless. Understanding uncertainty and the role it plays in our lives can help prevent us from freezing up when we face it, learn to come to terms with rather than deny it, and to recognise when we find ourselves tipping into a more extreme response, feelings of stress, anxiety and low mood.
Like most things, the amount of uncertainty we can tolerate is individual, and can vary significantly depending on the area it sits within and what else we might be experiencing at a given time. But we all have a limit and many of us are finding that limit tested over and over this year. One of my favourite ways of thinking about uncertainty is as a gateway to hope, inspired by psychotherapist Julia Samuel.
“Where certainty ends, hope begins.”
So, what can we do to set ourselves up to handle the uncertainty of the Covid winter?
Firstly, it’s helpful to clarify what some perfectly normal responses to uncertainty might look like, and how to work with them.
These examples are inspired by Self Space, who offer a wonderfully accessible approach to therapy and talking.
Increased levels of tiredness, or even exhaustion.
Sleep and structure are good for us. Uncertainty fucks with both of them. Auditing your energy on a daily basis and adapting your expectations to match can be helpful.
Practice good sleep hygiene, starting to wind down earlier, removing screens from the bedroom, not engaging in high energy or intensity activities in the hours before bed to give you the best chance at rest.
Feelings of sadness that perhaps you can’t quite put your finger on, irritability and increased stress.
Journaling can be your friend here. Writing it out or talking it out, either with a friend, professional, or family member, or even just speaking it into your phone. The trick is to give space for the feelings, rather than to deny them or deflect them.
Isolation, or feeling that no-one else is struggling.
Connection is so powerful here. Allowing yourself to reach out and hear that you aren’t alone in being knocked for six. Whether you call a friend, or join a handy group call on a Friday lunchtime each week (HIYA!), recognising that we are all feeling some version of uncertainty right now makes us feel less isolated even when we can’t see people as we might like.
Your productivity tanking.
I hear so many of you noticing that you are not able to get the shit done that you set out to, or feel you need to, and that is no surprise at all. So give yourself permission to dial it back a bit. Reassess your to-do list, and intersperse each day with things that ground and comfort you. Seek a balance of routine and ritual, and remember we are not just working from home right now, we are working with home, with all its imperfections and distractions. And for those of us not able to do our jobs from home, there is nothing normal about the conditions we are doing it in.
Feeling ill at ease in your own skin, or critical of your body and any changes you might notice.
Think about ways to move your body in a way that feels good now, rather than adhering rigorously to what you might do in other times. Stretches, chair yoga, walks outside all count. It doesn’t need to be a punishing HIIT routine to be good for you. Think about food that comforts and nourishes you and give yourself permission to enjoy it. Be compassionate with your body and its needs for movement, comfort and sustenance.
How many of these resonate with you?
With these in mind, what scaffolding might you need to support yourself over these coming weeks or months? What is within your control, rather than outside it?
Possible types of scaffolding:
People/connection
Routine/ritual
Energy raisers vs energy drains
Boundaries
Movement
Expectations
Times of change and uncertainty are also wonderful opportunities for reflection. To ask ourselves how we’d like to emerge on the other side, once we’ve shed our lizard skin? To make sense of our experience and create meaning from it.
Do we want to return to ‘normal’? Or are there parts of that ‘normal’ self that we are ready to leave behind? Changes that we would like to become permanent rather than transitional?
Can you make space in your lockdown life for regular reflection? To accept the discomfort of the moment and see it as a step toward something new?
Here are some prompts:
How do I feel right now?
What has given me energy this day/week?
What has depleted me?
What has worked well and can be replicated?
What could I do differently?
What might I let go of?
This was a summary of the Friday November 6th My So-Called Career ‘Careers Cuppa’, a space in your week to connect with others, to talk, to listen, to learn and to share.
We do this every Friday at 1pm.
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About the author
Penelope Jones is the founder of My So-Called Career. She is a career coach and consultant who specialises in helping women in their 30s beat burnout and develop healthy, sustainable relationships with work.
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